Sunday, December 26, 2004

Um, remember that thing about no deaths?

So, it's Sunday evening, and I'm in the Matron Hive, as I made so much XP the night before that I nearly ran the table on 88th level, after spending way too long at 87. I check in with Lanfear (read: get another buff-outfitting!), and off I go. Things are quiet, and if anything, I'm cocky. I've got the Redskins game on, and am delighting in them snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory once again (I'm a 49ers fan, so I am GOOD and bitter!).

A group shows up (it was some of the al-Thor clan). They were perfectly nice guys, and I figure "Woot! I'll show em that I can contribute! Look at my Infinity xp meter! I was rocking already, I'll really turn up my effort for them!"

The next thing I know, I'm at a long wall (mistake #1), allow myself to get surrounded (mistake #2), and then am slow on the draw to get some more stamina into me (strike 3!).

>>>Olthoi Swarm Eviserator runs you through!
>>>Death says, "Hiya gimp! Longtime no see! You didn't want that melee defense tattoo, did you? Ha ha ha!!!!one"<<<

I not only died, but I dropped my tattoo (don't ask why I'm not wearing it yet, long story). Funzor.

So it's back to Lanfear, and back to the hive. Vitae's gone like a second later, and I'm off to find a good spot to once again kick in my share to the fellow. Thank goodness for BS2 finding my body for me.

Anyway. You know those big acid pits? There had to be --minimum-- 20 bugs spread out in one, and there I am (Imagine a capital letter "M" with me in the middle at the entrance to the pit, but the bugs are clustered down a hallway along each side of the "M").

I run into the pit, and (in my mind) say, "Nyhha! Nyhaa!" and then run back out.

>>>You suffer 31 damage from acid!

Ouchie. But no big whoop. However, only like 2 bugs are following me out at a time.

So, I run back into the pit, and run (this is true) into a corner.

>>>Olthoi Swarm Noble says, "DOGPILE ON THE GIMP!"
>>>You suffer 31 damage from acid!
>>>You suffer 31 damage from acid!
>>>You suffer 31 damage from acid!
>>>Death holds his sides, laughing.<<<

I think I was down to about 50 health, when I kinda realized that I had better get the hell out. I just had to figure out HOW, since there was a wall o' bugs in front of me, like that movie "Joe's Apartment," except that the bugs were conga-line-dancing at the thought of eating my oh-so-tasty flesh:

>>>Olthoi Swarm Soldier says, "Tequila!"

Anyway. Tai thinks quick (or at least as quick as this gimp can think), and comes up with this series:

1. Jumping over them ---MIGHT--- work, but:
1a. If I died, I would look even more like a tool than I already did to the al-Thors, and
1b. One of them had asked me in public fellow why I was making him lag so much (he asked if I was gearing -- if he only knew that I'm so pathetic that I just started using decal in earnest a month or two ago, and only began experimenting with it a month or two before that!).
1c. Body recovery in an acid pit could only be done by people who remember the days of the Metos pits. Yes, I r teh old skool.

So I figured I'd already caused them (the al-Thors) enough grief, albiet without malice. That left option #2

2. Crack an Aphus Lassel portal gem and GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

>>>You have been teleported<<<

At this point, I've peed my covenant out of fear, but I send a tell in the Fellow, to the effect of:

>>>You say to your fellowship, "Thanks guys, and good hunting. See ya around!"

Yeah, assuming you're "around" monkey island that is.

A little known (I suspect) secret of Aphus Lassel is that if you just run on the beach and kill everything you see, you'll make pretty decent XP (well, assuming you're me. God help you if you are, though). I guess I can get it from 6-8 million an hour. You've got variety (you have to kill EVERYTHING you see, by the way), and no UCMers to deal with. I just shrug, buff my fire bow, and take off.

Yeah, I meant to do this. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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