Saturday, February 26, 2005

I'm quite the glutton . . .

. . . for health that is.

So about 14 months ago, I did the "save or damn" Numidiria-Indira-Bananna-Fanna-Whatever" quest.

I really did struggle over what to do, since at the time, there was geniune debate over whether she was a "good" or "bad" person. I mean, she DID help us get housing, didn't she?

Anyway. At the time, I was convinced by the idea to damn her over the +30 health necklace, so I ran the dungeon with a small group, and "damned" her. We portal back to the guy, and get our reward gems. At that point, everyone is like, "Woo hoo, off we go -- let's all just meet at the hub in 10 minutes!"

10 minutes pass, and I'm there. Everyone's buffed, and all of a sudden, they're gone. I mean, they just all said, "ready," and then blinked out of existence.

You stare.
You look around.
XXXXXX says to your fellowship, "Where's Tai?"
You say to your fellowship, "Did I miss someone opening a portal?"
XXXXXX says to your fellowship, "hehe just use the portal gem an itll teleprot you here"
You say to your fellowship, "Um, the guy just gave me a "reward gem. I'm clicking on it, but nothing's happening."
XXXXXX says to your fellowship, "Didn't you give him the gems back for the portal gems?"
You say to your fellowship, " . . . "
XXXXXX says to your fellowship, "rofl"
XXXXXX says to your fellowship, "omg"
XXXXXX says to your fellowship, "Have a nice run back to Stonehold ;P"
You cry.

So, FOURTEEN months later (give or take another few months on top of that), I notice that there's a Stonehold portal in the new Umbral Hub. Bam, 5 minutes later, I'm in front of the guy, and now with 3 new shiny portal gems. Woot.

I run to Maggie's real quick, and get the rundown on the layout of the dungeon. Hmm. level 385 "bound coral golems" all over the place.

@e looks at his bludgeon rending yag.
Death tells you, "Plz plz plz plz come try it"
Death tells you, "Mistell"

Oh, what the heck. What's the worst that could happen?

A quick trip to Lanfear in the MP to get buffed up, and I bane for bludgeon attacks (no really! I remembered!).

You have been teleported.
This oughta be fun.

At this point, the story may disappoint: It was NUTS in there, and there are STILL numerous undecayed bodies all over the place, from the first room you portal in (the high grounds, at least) to right by the chest (3 by the chest, in fact).

Bound Coral Golem says, "Dogpile on the gimp!"
I see my health REALLY dropping, but I am running like hell from the minute I hit the ground (it beams you in about 20 feet off the ground). I'm ignoring every one of the golems, who are (really) trying to pin me against a wall. They're really not even connecting with me, since I'm at buffed melee of 420 something, and have my bow with well over +20something defender on it. I then find the chest.

At this point, the game does it's old fun trick -- it moves the camera SO close to me that *I* am the only thing on screen. So, as my health is now halfway down (I'm standing still by the chest at this point), I see this message in the upper left-hand corner of my screen, while I'm furiously clicking on the key and then the "chest," which I can see through my transparent body:

Cannot use silvery key with Tai Fung
Cannot use silvery key with Tai Fung
Cannot use silvery key with Tai Fung
Cannot use silvery key with Tai Fung

Bound Coral Golem hums theme from HBO's "Oz."
Bound Coral Golem says, "You're minezor now beyotch!"

The trade health elixir restores 70 points of your health.
You evaded Bound Coral Golem!
You evaded Bound Coral Golem!
The trade health elixir restores 70 points of your health.

--Whew.

Bound Coral Golem bashes your head for 45 points of bludgeoning damage!
Bound Coral Golem bashes your upper arm for 61 points of bludgeoning damage!

--Um . . .

The trade health elixir restores 70 points of your health.

At this point, I just said, "Screw it," and turned my back on the pack o' golems (haw), and unlocked the chest. I grabbed a jewel, and then clicked on a trusty Aphus Lassel portal gem.

With more than half my health still going.

Death says, "Whaaaaa?"

Haw. Pwned.

Buffed health now 290 @ 95th level. :-) :-P

Sometimes, this game isn't just fun, it's damned fun (get it???????).

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