Sunday, May 15, 2005

There's a reason it's called the Valley of "DEATH," Tai!

Ok, so I'll admit it: I'm a VOD Virgin. Never been there.

Why?

It's a very complex series of reasons, mostly because of time problems, committments, and . . . oh, screw it -- that's not why.

I've never been able to find it.

Look, I *know* there are directions on how to get there, they usually involved:

1. Mansion portals (I wasn't a member of a monarchy)
2. Caul (if you think I had THAT portal up until recently, you're nuts).
3. Aerlinthe (ahem).

So, anyway, I finally decided to go. Once and for all. @e makes little trumpet sound with his lips. Figured I'd see what all the fuss was about.

I get "there" and promptly spend the next hour running "West then South," as described by my patron (I gotta give her credit, though -- she pointed out that if you just paid the D note, and then took portal after portal, ones where NO running was involved, you could get to the "VOD Lifestone." Now THOSE are route instructions I can handle!

Anyway, I take the portals, and per her instructions, run "West then South." Only to find Drudge Bloodletters, some (gasp!) Sinister Shadows, and LOTS of Imperial Mu-Miawhatevers. So, I recalled, and re-thought. "Hmm," I thought, "Maybe I'll try a LITTLE west, THEN South."

Silver Tuskers. :-/

Hmmm.

The whole time, I'm chatting with my patron, trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. She keeps telling me that I'll know a VOD thingie when I see it.

You say to your Patron, "Oooooh -- look at GREAT Revenant! Is that one?"
Your Patron (name redacted to protect the innocent) says to you, "Um, no. That's a monster most people can kill by the time they leave the training hall. Where ARE you?"
You say to your Patron, "I went west then south, right past the lifestone like you said."
Your Patron (see above) says to you, "That's weird. You should be in the thick of it."
You say to your Patron, "Maybe they're afraid to spawn now that I'm all uber-ified."
Your Patron says to you, "Sorry, just trying to figure out why Tai can't find the broad side of a barn in the middle of an empty room."
Your Patron says to you, "mt"
You say to your Patron, " . . . "

So I do what all good men do when they're lost . . . I pulled up a map (heh, we just TELL women we navigate by feel). ACMAPS.com, specifically.

Wow. Look at that. TWO "VOD Lifestones."

One on the North end, one on the South end.

I've been running West then South. Which LS have I been at?

Yup.

Oops.

Let's try "East then North."

I run along, and all of a sudden, there's this group of baddies over there. Hmm. "Lich Oppressor." Oooooh! THAT sounds cool! Let's ID him.

Your base assess creature skill is now (still) pathetic!

Humph. Bah, let's just try a fire arrow.

You know that scene in "Finding Nemo," re Dory's attitude with the baby jellyfish? That's the tone I'm setting here.

Remember (wtf was Nemo's Dad's name?) that guy's attitude when the million BIG jellyfish wanted to turn him into slightly braised clownfish?

It wasn't pretty.

But it WAS fun. I gotta get back there.

Now if I can only remember how . . .

No comments:

Post a Comment