I just wrote this in 35 minutes, based on "Dateline NBC" being 5 minutes in when I started writing this, and ending at 9:40
(I say that because I *know* it's not that great, but I still don't want anyone to think this took ACTUAL time).
Oh, and for obvious reasons, I can't post it on VN:
T'was the night before Christmas,
and all on the boards,
not a troll was lurking,
not even the post whores.
Chines was snuggled away,
tight in his bed,
with visions of Kiaya,
falling over dead.
Lookie was snuggled tight too,
As mages will do,
except the point isn't WHAT Lookie was snuggled in,
When all of a sudden, there arose such a spamming,
Even Foxy crawled out of her mousehole,
to watch the future banning.
Yes, the trolls all awoke,
and logged into VN,
(Sure, that's a stretch, but so are size 32 pants on Jen_)
"Who is it?" they cried,
"Who's doing this posting?"
Grim tried to do a trackback to find out the IP hosting
"It's a evader," some screamed,
"But who can it be?"
"It seems his posts are oh . . . so jolly"
The spammer continued, posting notes of goodwill,
"You're beautiful, Gwyd!" he'd say in one post
"Now give us another recipe -- one for yummy pot roast!"
For some, this was too much,
Negativity they craved,
With flaming, and threats, and frothings and raves
"No more happy thoughts," they posted
"Just stop this ride!"
The only sig with happy thoughts
"Should be like Plasma's countdown to suicide!"
"I've got his pic!" said Juzam,
"He's huge!" He must weigh a ton!
"Or, at least half the size of Pkhere's son."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" the mystery poster wrote,
"Your mods won't ban me -- I can't be smote!"
"Still, the jolly poster said,
"I'm logging off -- you folks are just icky"
"But know you all this -- make it a sticky!"
"It's not nice to be naughty, nor naughty to be nice!"
"Being mean all the time is a troublesome vice"
"Oh, you can trust me, this is no trick!"
And with that, a permaban slammed down,
On the (former) poster known as "Saint_Nick"