Saturday, July 22, 2006

In da Club(house)

I did that "Whispering Blade Chapterhouse" dungeon (just AFTER) the event where we were supposed to pick sides -- I'm nothing if not timely.

But first, let me point out -- it's not a "Chapterhouse." It's a flipping CLUBHOUSE! Like the He-Man-Woman-Haters Club, only with swords and portals. And instead of those adorable "our gang" kids (well, not THAT adorable), you have people who are all toons, and pass through each other in a creepy way.

But I digress. So I decide I want to be "In da club," and I get sent off to complete my Silyun quests.

I love those, just to tweak those self-important Viamontians.

Boom -- Friend of Silyun!
Bang -- Hero of Silyun!
Um, Boom Bang -- Champion of Silyun!

So I go back, and I get flagged for this "Clubhouse" quest, in Ayan.

Fighting Viamontians? What could be easier?! I have a kickass lightning bow, a full covenant major suit (kinda), and tons of arrowheads! Woot!

Off I go to Ayan to do my quest.

Harkwull the Discreet tells you, "Ah, excellent... I have been looking for a person of your obvious skill who is loyal to Queen Elysa and the good folk of Silyun... as well as another organization. I seek someone of skill and daring to infiltrate the Summoning Chamber of Count Dardante, King Varicci's chief thaumaturgical counselor."

Heh. "Infiltrate." I guess that is a another way of saying, "Beam in and kill the shit out of everything you see." Did you enjoy June 4, the anniversary of the day the Allies "infitrated" the beaches of Normandy?


So I''m blowing through the place fairly easily, and almost downright easy. I mean, these guys are wearing METAL! And look! I've got, well, um, electric arrows. Woot?

So I'm a-zappin' away, when I get to what I figured was the end room. I mean it had to be right -- look who's in there

"Summoning Chamber Adepts"

Um, wtf?

That's another word for "Altar Boy!" Easy!

I charge in.

This time, there's a ZAPZAPZAP, but it's the sound of them lighting me up like Chevy Chase on the roof of that house in "Christmas Vacation."

Humph. Nice. They even debuffed me first. Sheesh. No holy wafers for THEM!

So I recall (no need to rebuff with my template) and run back in. Grrr. Freakin' altarboys.

I zap my way back, and draw those little bastards out this time. Oh, look! Each drops a cool ring. That's gotta be what the guy wants, right?

So, I pick it up, and run in the portal.

You must complete a quest to interact with that portal.
You must complete a quest to interact with that portal.
You must complete a quest to interact with that portal.
You must complete a quest to interact with that portal.

Um, wtf? So I try and pick up another ring of another dead Altar Boy.

You may complete this quest again in (whatever it was).

@e is confused (as usual, I actually typed that out, to no one in particular)

So, I just kind of stand there. And of course . . .

1. Altar Boy respawns (they respawn FAST)
2. Altar Boy begins debuffing me to lightning.
3. I realize (as is my habit), I am out of arrows.
4. I open my arrowhead/arrowshaft pack.
5. Hmm. Where's all my arrowshafts? (Look above -- I checked arrowHEADS, but not for arrowSHAFTS).
6. Altar Boy lights me up like a Texas Death Row inmate.


Finally, I figured out I was supposed to WEAR the damn ring to get in the portal.

I suck.

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