Sunday, June 26, 2016

2016 Lawyers Have Heart Race Report

The good news:  Short post.
The bad news:  Because I hate this race and am SO done with it.

I tried to protect my aching piriformis, still left over from the North Face 50K about 7 weeks earlier.  I wasn't SUPER psyched to do this race, but I love my team, and we have a great brunch afterwards, so I was most definitely IN.  I wasn't happy to do this as my last "DC race as a local," but I was going to give it a go regardless.

I have a love/hate relationship with this race.  The DC Lawyers Have Heart race has been the site of two of my fastest 10K times, including one sub-50 minute race.  But it seems like each year, it's marked with tremendous screwups/snafus, at least prior to the race.

I think they're geared towards making money for their cause, as opposed to putting on a smooth race.  That, or they cater to the (very) large law firms that supply the lion's share of their donations.  They don't give a whole lot about 5-7 idiot lawyers from a government agency who don't really raise a lot of money beyond their entry fees.

Just like many years previous, we fielded a team.  Every year, there's a screwup from the organizers.  The LAST time I did this race, they said I hadn't registered.  This year, I showed up for team packet pickup and, sure enough . . . no bibs, no t-shirts for our team.

Kinda verbatim, when I found out.

So, of course, I had to stand there while they re-registered us, and assigned us new bibs. Somewhere there is one HELL of a landfill just STACKED with unused extra bibs from this race, because they've had to duplicate so often.  So I just stood there, like an angry, bitter . . . mop (I hadn't had a haircut for some time).

That really IS a mop!  You can't unsee now, can you?

So.  Freaking.  Done.

The don't have a clue about putting on this big of a race for this many people, imho.

Anyway, a few days later, it was Race Day, and, thanks to a timely UberX driver, I was at the start line WAY early. So early, that I got a couple of nice pics of the Georgetown Waterfront pre-race:

Looking across the Rosslyn VA

The Kennedy Center

We lined up in our corrals, and I turned on my Garmin (along with every other Type-A running lawyer in DC).  Just then, a teammate/friend of mine (she doesn't want me to use her real name, so let's call her "Lori") stopped me and asked if I knew where our boss was. I didn't, and Lori mentioned she wasn't going to run this race too fast, as she hadn't been training and didn't want to risk injury. She fell back.

BANG!  Off went the gun, and off we went.


I was a little too fired up for this race, particularly being hurt.  I looked down as I ran (you start under a bridge), and my Garmin said it was up and running.

Mile 0-1 5:40

Wait, what?  The Garmin warbled at me just over halfway to the mile marker that I'd run a mile, and I was all, "NOPE" but then I'd realized it hadn't made a satellite connection from under the bridge.  FUCK.

I do NOT handle mid-race snafus well.  But I hit "lap" on my watch as we hit the mile 1 marker, and saw I was going a too-fast-for-a-guy-with-a-sore-ass 9:34.

Mile 1-2 9:19

Well, this wasn't any better.  It was WORSE.  I was weaving way too much as well, but I guess I was just caught up in the crowd, and generally not being Smart.

Mile 2-3 9:19

Still cruising, still kinda happy that I'm not hurting worse.  Humph.  It sure had hurt worse on training runs.

Mile 3-4 10:02 (water/gu)

Along here, Lori actually caught up to me just prior to starting mile 3, and began to Chat Me Up.  I'm normally not a guy who talks/chats while running, and DEFINITELY not during a race.

In this case, it was because I was running so hard I couldn't breathe.

But I just let Lori run with me, and she talked.  A lot.  Like, from pre-mile 3 all the way to mile 6.  At first, I was sure it was going to make the race hellish.


But it was along this stretch, as Lori talked to me, effortlessly, maddeningly, that I realized I was actually pretty grateful.  My ass was starting to . . . wait for it . . . ASSert itself.

C'mon, you kind of appreciate I went without an actual ass gif

I was hurting, and Lori was able to tell me fun stories/dirt/complain while I said insightful stuff like, "(wheeze) really?" "(puff) wow!" and (chokes back vomit) "FUCK FINISH THIS STORY AFTER WE CLIMB THIS HILL HOW CAN YOU TALK FOR THIS?"

Oh yeah.  New course this year.  The fast, speedy, out-and-back 10K was gone.  Now this course was pocketed with climbs, turns, and double-backs.  Not sure who designed it.

Lawyers Have Heart Elevation Chart

Mile 4-5, 5-6 (9:48, 9:54)

These two miles had way more climbs in them, but I'm sure I was just slowing down from real, genuine ass pain, but Lori was happily just chatting me up, and I was happy to have my mind off of my ass.

We pressed on, and Lori didn't want to sprint in for mile 6 to 6.2, but I did, just to ensure I'd come in under an hour.  For the .2, I hit a sub-8 minute pace, and was happy to see I'd made it under an hour (not by much!).

The end of this race meant it was . . . time for brunch and mimosas!


We had a few minutes to kill, so we did usual goofy race poses . . . 

"Act fierce" the photographer told us.  I don't think we quite hit it. Come find me on Instagram!
. . . and I added a couple of shots to Snapchat (add me! Tai_Fung) 

Best medal for this race in years. Worst. Course. Ever.

Snapchat made a filter for this race, not bad.

When the brunch was over, we bade our goodbyes, and that was that. It turned out that my daughter had gone to NYC with her mom and nobody told me they'd left, so I ended up being pretty bitter and hurt over the weekend because of that. But it ALSO had been a good weekend too. My son made the little league All-Star team, and also hit his first (little league) home run. Having a farewell race like this mixed in was bittersweet, but also a nice break from a weekend of daddy-ing and drama.

Plus, now that I'm leaving DC, I'm SO DONE WITH THIS RACE!

Monday, June 20, 2016

Father's Day

I've made no secret that for me, Father's Day comes with LOTS of baggage. There's a weird history there for me. Lots of ghosts and demons to fight off (which is troublesome for a guy who doesn't believe in either).

Longtime friends might recall that in 2013 I took a pretty decently long chunk of time to "go dark," re online stuff, as I had been in the middle of a personal shitstorm, and I just couldn't fake it online anymore. I needed the break. Something had to give, and it was online activity.

Then, yesterday, for Father's Day 2016, I just said, "why not," and (with permission) put him back out there.

THEN, all of this reminded me that I used to tweet about him a LOT pre-2013. I captioned the photos (screenshots from 2016 for calculating the TimeHop app). As TimeHop presents me funnier ones from earlier, I'll probably update this post with screenshots of those too. I think some of these are a hoot!

From April 4, 2012

From January 3, 2013

From May 4, 2012

July 19, 2012

It was right to avoid hyperdrama and stop with him, because real life is far more important than this online blogging nonsense that some people take WAY too seriously. But he's older now, and the decisions I've made in my life are MINE -- your opinion on them are irrelevant, because they work for me. I'm a RunBlahgger -- I don't do a lot of "DaddyBlogging" (apart from the HooWow Issues).

He'll be in Oregon ahead of me, but will be waiting to see me, and it will be hard to tell which of us will be more excited. His sister will remain with her mom in the DC area (see the bit above about my life being mine, and keep your opinions to yourself!). Life will progress. It will work out.

But, I thought it important to acknowledge him more formally, as I've made adventures with my daughter so prominent as we get into various shenanigans.

Happy Father's Day. Let's make sacrifices to atone for generational-old sins, and stop the cycle with this generation - they don't deserve the baggage (particularly in light of the national debt we're leaving them!).